Tag: lovers

Half-hearted…

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I shared a low-key but lovely Valentine’s weekend with an old friend. We meet periodically so we can put the world to rights over a bottle of wine and some good food.  This weekend, as we walked the beach in Margate and passed the lovers’ umbrellas and heart shaped lanterns adorning the harbour wall cafe, we agreed  ice-cream is a lot like love…

If you are going to have it, there’s no point in being a wimp. Why settle for vanilla when you can order that Knickerbockerglory with the whipped cream and crazy toppings? I know far too many sensible women, who got so tired of waiting for ‘Mr.Right’ to show up that they capitulated when ‘Mr.So-So’ entered the room. They aren’t enjoying their ice-cream, because they live a half-life – stuck in bland relationships with lovers who can’t quite commit to a flavourful partnership.What’s the point of that?

If you are going to love someone, then love generously and enjoy the experience. Life is too short for emotional parsimony. Giving only half of your heart because you are afraid of getting hurt, or worried about what the world might think, crushes real affection and robs the soul of joy. These days I really can’t be doing with any of that iffy, ambivalent stuff.  And in this, I am definitely with Frank Sinatra…‘no messing with Mr In-Between’ for me.  Of course, my ‘Mr Unique’ might be turn out to be just that – a one-off treat … ! At least I get to have cherries and chocolate sprinkles…

Killer App…

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I love my ipod Touch.  Not only can I load all of the 500 CDs I own onto this small object of beauty, I have discovered a new source of pleasure. Apps!  Who knew there were so many ways to channel one’s inner geek…

I sail, so I have the ‘Tidal prediction’ App, which shows tide tables for every known port in the world.(You never know when your ship might come in, but I’m holding out for the Bahamas). And I’m a practical kinda gal so I have the ‘Spirit level’ App (Yes, that would be my Virgo tendencies emerging). Of course the ‘Measurement conversion’ App really does sort the Dicks from the Toms and Harries.(Gosh darling, didn’t realise 6 centimetres was the same in inches!)

Actually, after recent romantic misadventures, I’d like to see the istore create the ‘Manometer’.  This is an App which emits a loud warning siren when you are in close proximity to a narcissistic egomaniac who thinks he’s god’s gift to womankind. Works just the same for habitual philanderers! And, it comes preloaded with a ringtone that sounds curiously like your mobile phone, allowing you to exit stage left when the dire conversation makes you want to stick needles in your eyes rather than continue smiling through gritted teeth. Handily, this App can also scan any prospective romantic interest and tell you whether he’s all mouth and no trousers, or whether the attributes match the patter. Now that really is an App to die for…

Knickers…

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This is just a bit of fun that’s been inspired by the revealing confessions of Facebook friends…

Facebook is running an app that detects the colour of your underwear. Well, I think I can go one better. I’ll tell the nationality of my knickers. At this point in time my underwear just happens to be French. Oui. They may have a president with a Napoleon complex, but they do know their ‘entre’ from their ‘nous’ when it comes to undergarments. Can’t wait for another shopping spree at the Galleries Lafayette!

When I was growing up, one of my mom’s maxims was always to wear clean underwear ‘in case you get hit by a bus’. Yep – I could be bleeding to death on the pavement as long as the underwear was clean…or, in my case, matching.  At the time it didn’t seem that important, but as I become more grown up, I realise having a bra and knickers that go together is as essential as clean teeth and brushed hair. And anyway, if full body scans become mandatory at Heathrow those who are sartorially challenged will need to rely on our underwear to prove our lack of terrorist credentials. ‘I’m a lover not a fighter, guv!’

My friend Lucy Bucket (not her real name) places great store by the concept of matching underwear. It’s not so much that you could get hit by a bus, but you could hit it off with someone yummy  – and so, just as our mothers advised – best be prepared for every eventuality.  I’ve been known to bottle great romantic moments because on the night the knickers were just not right! His, not mine I hasten to add. (And if you were wondering, Y-fronts and Calvins needn’t bother to apply!) Conversely, matching underwear may also be to blame for some of the other predicaments I’ve got myself into, but that (ahem) is the subject of another blog entirely.

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Kansas…

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2009 has been a tempestuous year. You know, the sort of twelve month period where your world spins on its axis and you wake up without your red shoes and little dog Toto in the sort of place where not everything is what it seems to be.

I’ve met the cowardly lion, the tin man and loads of oompa loompas in between. I’m not sure I like any of them.  The coward deserves to be stuffed or made into a rug, the heartless tin man should be recycled and turned into a can… and, as for the oompa loompas…well, they really should carry a health warning before they are let out amongst the general populace.

With Christmas looming, I’ve decided to get ahead of myself and write my gratitude, goodbye and intentions list.  It’s something I’ve started doing because I’m usually rubbish at New Year’s Resolutions. And anyway,  perfection is hard to maintain in a tornado!  So, I’m writing a list of all the things that happened that I’m grateful for, all the things I am clicking my heels and putting in the box marked ‘o’ for over, and setting my goals for the next 12 months.  Somehow it feels better than simply making a list that says: 1. no booze 2. no sweets 3. no schoolboys.  (OK, I was only joking about the last one).

Whatever you are doing this Christmas, whether you celebrate the Winter Solstice, the birth of Christ or just the opportunity to spend some relaxing time at home, I hope this festive season is a good one. May 2010 bring all of us a little shelter, a lot of love and no more natural disasters!

People we love…

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Last night I spent time re-reading an old diary.  It dates back to when I was a teenager and is filled with notes from friends I made when I was an exchange student in the mid-West of America.  As I started reading the notes again, I realised that there were so many people who have come into my life as friends at  key points… Growing up, university, moving countries, coming home.  Some of them are still in my life, others have welcomely returned as my world comes full circle.

The wonder (and curse) of social media means we can now reach out to eachother in ways that we didn’t before.   Though clearly some facebookers think amassing friends is a competitive sport!   I’m also amazed by those married couples who only appear to communicate via comments on each others pages…It’s meant to be a relationship, not a communique, surely?  But that’s probably the subject of another blog.

For my part, I’m glad that the friends I’ve missed and loved are back in touch.   When you are far away from family or lovers – separated by time or geography or circumstance – friends are the people who get you through those tough times.  They become your surrogate family – they are there when your heart is breaking, to hug you and give you a glass of wine while you sob on the sofa, they are there with words of encouragement when your biggest challenge proves to be your biggest fear, and they share your excitement when good things happen.  Humans are social animals and our friends are a very necessary part of our lives. Too often life (work, commuting, stress) gets in the way of spending time with those friends.

When I go on holiday, I’ve developed a habit of sending myself a postcard with a list of ‘resolutions’ or things I’d like to change or do differently in my life. If I post it on my last day, it usually arrives when I’m back.  And it serves as a useful reminder of my good intentions – and a bit of a nudge, if I’m honest.   I’m off to the wilderness in about a month, and I think one of the items on my postcard will be to be better at keeping in touch with my friends.