These days my brain is terribly full. If it’s not a ‘to do’ list, then it’s a goal, a deadline or a commitment competing for space in my over-stretched noggin. I sometimes wish life had a ‘clear all’ button, just so that I could selectively delete thoughts, memories and experiences in the same way I clear the cache on my laptop.
I’d erase all those feelings of fear that sometimes conspire to try and keep me small in the world. Henry Ford said: ‘If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t. Either way, you’re right’. Why should we let our thoughts determine our potential? Why shouldn’t we risk it all on 22 red?
I’d erase a boyfriend or two. And that unsuitable six week-fling. And that hopeless crush on the boy from High School. And while I’m on the subject, that dreadful man on the train who sat next to me picking his nose and eating it. Eeuwww! De-lete!
I’d probably erase most of my wardrobe from the 80’s. You know, the big hair, legwarmers and day-glo make-up. But not the music. Oh no, definitely not the music! For more on that see my earlier post: https://edgeofthepier.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/soundtrack-to-my-soul/
I’d erase worrying about money. Life is short, and as my mom says: ‘there are no pockets in a shroud’. Let’s be like the poem, and spend our pensions on summer gloves and brandy! In fact, I’d probably erase any ‘worrying’ – spending time wondering if you are good enough, thin enough, happy enough…or even if you are just…enough. You are. I am.
Still, I can’t help wondering…would creating additional emotional RAM really mean we’d have better thoughts? Be more creative? Sometimes adversity is the best determinant of character. Maybe a spotless mind is soporific, instead of a spur to action? And what if you accidentally deleted all the good stuff? Imagine waking up like a goldfish every day!
Sometimes in order to appreciate what you have, or be clear about what you want, you need to know what you don’t. Erasing bad thoughts and only thinking happy thoughts all the time might make us more zombie than zen…
Ah well, back to reality. If that means less headroom, then perhaps I should start making a list.