Common language…

Just finished reading my local paper and spotted something that really annoys me…

No, it’s not the story about feral youth setting the dustbin on the corner of Queen and Main Street alight (btw, that is the the only thing that qualifies as crime in this area, thankfully). And no, not the story of Ambrose, the cat of the week, who needs a new home because their owner mistreated them (poor pussy). The offensive statement was in fact in a half page ad –  ‘Wedding Fayre’ – fair, spelt with a ‘y’ and an ‘e’ on the end.

Honestly! we’re not living in ‘ye olde worlde’ any longer. Brides are not bartered for three sheepe and a cowe. Speak English for god’s sake! It’s like seeing ‘shoppe’ pollute the signage of our local villages. Eeuw! Not erudite (which does have an ‘e’ on the end). Just silly. Frankly the only place where rogue ‘e’ belongs is at a rave.

And please, don’t – whatever you do – call it the ‘specific’ ocean in front of me. It’s ‘P’ for ‘Pacific’ (as in peaceful), not ‘specific’ (as in particular). Of course, if you are referring to a particular ocean, then have the decency to use it’s proper name. You know…Indian. Atlantic. That sort of thing.

We may have spell-checker on our e-mails, but why do we have no common sense when it comes to our own language?

‘Stationary’ does not refer to envelopes and notebooks, unless they are standing still.
Doing something ‘on principal’ is likely to rile the school governors and get you on the sex offenders register.

And a final warning from the blog… if you end up lost in the ‘dessert’…make no mistake, you will be eating custard on your way back to the oasis!